I found out at about 5:30PM today that one of my cousin's took his life late last night. I'm so overwhelmed already with school, work, life, my elbow that this is just too much. I don't even know what to think right now except that this really sucks. He is actually my "first cousin once-removed" according to wikipedia, but he is my age and a junior in college so I've always thought of him as my cousin.
I was looking at his facebook profile today and noting all the people that wrote on his wall since he died. (about 70 people since last I checked) What is the problem!! Is this it? Is it because we all write on eachother's goddamned facebook walls instead of actually talking to each other? As much as I'm wrapped up in this whole stupid system, am I part of the problem too?
I would like to go to his funeral, but I'm not sure it's financially feasible and it seems silly to try and express my sentiments after the fact.
I'm mad, and confused, and sad, and pissed off, and depressed, and angry, but more than anything...I just wish I would have know him better.
Nick, I hope you've found what you're looking for.